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Dear Cam & Gordie, I just started playing hockey and am not very good. I am wobbly on my skates and keep falling down. What can I do? Klutzy in Kamloops Dear Klutz: We'll tell you the same story we tell everyone else who's just starting out: This boy is walking around in Toronto trying to the find the Hall of Fame, but he's lost and can't find his way. He stops another boy and asks him, "How do I get to the Hockey Hall of Fame?" The second boy replies, "Practice, practice, practice!" Good luck, Klutz, and practice, practice, practice! Dear Cam & Gordie, I am a lady who plays coed hockey at the local ice rink. I am often made uncomfortable by the perverted leers from the naked/barely dressed guys in the locker room. How can I tactfully request that they keep their eyes to themselves, but still remain one of "the guys"? Violated in Vancouver Dear Violated: We feel this is a very serious issue to address. Naturally, when you introduce breasts into a locker room there is nary a covered eye in the house. Instead of talking to the offender(s) about his/their behaviour, it is most effective if you degrade his self esteem. Since most men's self worth is judged by the size of certain body parts, start there and work your way up. For example, next time you catch someone ogling your rack, say something like, "Hey, Joe Blow, you have hairier balls than than Sasquatch.", or point and say, "My chihuahua has a bigger tail than that!" |
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